As a new school year is beginning, I thought it was timely to share a little about my personal life. I’m a teacher but also a mommy with our newest addition arriving 9 months ago. I will not return to my teaching position this year. I will stay home with my boys.
This is a hard post to share because I’m well aware of the whole stay at home mom vs working mom labels that exist and the emotions and opinions surrounding these lifestyles. Some might think I’m cray, cray, crazy! With all of that aside, this is what my husband and I decided best for our family at this point in time. This decision did not come easily or without a lot of thought!
Why was this a difficult decision to make? In the deepest part of my heart I wanted to be a stay at home mom but in real life there are many factors that impact a family. Financially, it is a real struggle but oh my goodness affording daycare is also a struggle. Just a bit shocking when we looked in to daycare for two littles. To know I would be putting my career on the back burner and not developing “professionally” is difficult. To know you are giving your best but not feeling your best when you prepare, teach, and participate after school is difficult. To experience the stigmas attached to stay at home mommy is difficult (which I never knew existed but another post, another day). To feel you are letting people down is difficult. To hear that children of working moms succeed more in life is difficult. To hear that working moms spend too much time away from their children is difficult.
The reality is some working mothers absolutely want to be working mothers. Some stay at home moms want to be home. Some mothers desire to stay home but absolutely have to work. Some mothers are stay at home mothers but wish they could work or need to work. There is no easy answer. There is no right answer. There are countless opinions but what really matters is that we are mothers and as mothers we make decisions that are best for our situation. We make sacrifices and what my heart tells me is that we can be working moms and nurture our children. We can be stay at home moms and nurture our children. It is a decision that does not always come easily. It can be emotionally and mentally draining if there is a conflict between what we want and what we have to do.
I am a stay at home mommy for now, next year I may be back in the classroom. My family will cross that bridge when the time comes. I hope to soak in this time I have with my boys and embrace stay at home mommy life. It is not easy and I’ll admit it is not always what I imagined. I get to the end of the day and I don’t have a measurable way to show growth, I don’t have a paycheck, I don’t even have a clean house but what I won’t do is compare life as a working mom to stay at home mom because there are ups and downs in both roles. What I know is that my husband encouraged me to make a decision that was best for our family at this time and not based on what others think or those who I thought I might disappoint. And he is right. This is the best decision for our family right now. Even on those tough days, I feel blessed to be home with my babes. I truly believe, we are all good mothers regardless of a label and it’s our love and quality of parenting that matters.