Considering the parenting books I’ve read, parenting advice I’ve received, and countless google searches on various topics, one might think that leads to a perfect parent. But despite my best efforts, I’m still and always will be the imperfect parent. And truthfully, I’m ok with that. I realize that if I keep moving forward and doing my best with loving intentions, then my kids will continue to thrive despite my imperfections.
Parenting is a messy business. Now, trust me… my perfectionism self, doesn’t always want to accept this imperfect business. But it’s one thing to set high standards for success and another to be highly disappointed when failures occur. Attempting to look at a situation in a positive light with acceptance and humor definitely puts this imperfect parenting in perspective.
The other day I was preparing chicken in hopes of a mommy win. I mean this was a healthy + homemade dinner when my son yelled, “Mommy. C-o-m-e!”
My response, “I can’t come RIGHT now, I have chicken on my hands.”
Once again, he yelled, “You have to come RIGHT NOW!”
As I hurried down the hall, following the wet footprints, I discover my youngest splashing a toy in and out of the toilet. Now, I find myself debating between my gross raw chicken hands and a toilet water toddler. Seriously, though, what’s the perfect parent suppose to do? Hence, the not-so-perfect parent of the not-so-perfect children!
The frantic, less than ideal positive parent came lashing out! “EVERYONE JUST STOP. FREEZE!” Now that I had the attention of the two of them, I worked in a frustrated overdrive to clean my hands, scrub my two toddlers, and then, proceed to sanitize the bathroom.
Playing in the toilet is completely unacceptable but one could rightfully argue that mommy yelling is also unacceptable (although it felt unavoidable). As I tried to explain playing in the toilet is absolutely off limits but mommy yelling is also off limits. My 4-year-old only interrupts to ask what’s for dinner.
The point is that even when everything seems to be going wrong you have to realize it doesn’t mean that you are a terrible parent. It’s even important for kids to realize that everyone has limits, even parents. Being human means that we will have successes and failures. And even through our limitations, we can be a model for our kids. We can model confidence and self-doubt for them without it being a negative trait. And, isn’t it when you try to be the most perfect that the most imperfect parent comes out.
Our kids don’t expect us to be perfect parents. If they know we are doing our best to care for them, emotionally and physically, then they will love us on our good days and on our bad days. Just like we do for them. Let’s put perfect out of our minds and realize that perfect and parenting should never be in the same sentence together! Imperfect parenting is perfect enough!
Stephanie Lowry says
February 21, 2017 at 2:11 PMCould not agree with you more! The pressure to be the perfect parent is intense. I hope many read this and truly take it to heart because there is no perfection in parenthood and that is what makes it perfectly imperfect!
Erin says
February 22, 2017 at 8:09 AMYes! The pressure is suffocating and so many opinions on the “right” way! Thank you for reading! Glad you stopped by!
Julie McCullough CPP says
February 21, 2017 at 2:14 PMLOL to the raw chicken and toilet water. Been there myself. Thank you for sharing.
Erin says
February 22, 2017 at 8:08 AMhaha! Funny how we can laugh about it later but I’m sure most parents can remember some moments that just don’t even seem real! :)
Angela Kim @mommy-diary says
February 21, 2017 at 6:59 PMThere are so many little moments like that in parenthood, isn’t there? Raw chicken and toilet water…eek sounds like the time my dog ate my baby’s diaper and had her poop all over him. Yuck! Now I look back and laugh about it but those moments used to stress me out. I handle it better now thanks to just letting go.
Erin says
February 22, 2017 at 8:07 AMOh no, that’s a story for the books! It is funny how we can laugh about it later but at the time my blood pressure is through the roof! Learning to let some of it go helps so much!
Linda Marie Hoekel Montavon says
February 25, 2017 at 11:45 AMLove the honesty in this posting. I couldn’t help but smile when I visualized you yelling “everyone just freeze”. To me, that was pretty darn perfect!
Dominique Garcia says
February 25, 2017 at 12:16 PMReading this post was much needed for me Erin. I think I literally try to be the perfect mom every single day. I try to teach them about God, their abc’s, their manners all while making meals and cleaning the house. All just so when they are adults they can look back at the perfect childhood and not need therapy. 😂 thank you for bringing me back to earth. I love your blog!